While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday (10
> miles over the limit),
> a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a
> radar gun on the
> other side. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car,
> and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and
> love, asked,
> 'What's your hurry?'
>
> To which she replied, 'I'm late for work.'
>
> 'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'
>
> 'I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded.
>
> The cop stammered, 'A what? A rectum stretcher? And
> just what does a
> rectum stretcher do?'
>
> 'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one
> finger, then work my way up
> to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole
> hand in. I work
> from s ide to side until I can get both hands in, and then
> I slowly but
> surely stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide.'
>
> 'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot
> asshole?' he asked.
>
> 'You give him a radar gun and park him behind a
> bridge...'
>
> Traffic Ticket $95.00
> Court Costs. $45.00
> The Look on Cop's Face. PRICELESS

OMFG LMAO That was to funny :p

its getting close to football season and ? not to start off with a joke. well i played football back in the day for Nebraska and we use to say

how does the OK sooner s practice safe sex ?

they practice safe sex by put black x's on the sheep that kick


i hope you like and can use this joke as well also when someone at the table tells you to kiss their ass just ask them to move their noise lol

lol